Faceless players in white and grey kits huddle around a tiny meeting table with a gavel on a pitch beneath a giant clock showing midday.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

Group Chat Minutes Spurs And Manchester United Interest In Beljo And Adjourns Until Lunchtime

Philippa Crane · Media Editor18 October · Reading time: one pint

Manchester United and Tottenham are reportedly keen on Dinamo Zagreb striker Dion Beljo, according to reports from Spain, with the club said to want between €20m and €25m. The chat has seven members, two of whom have muted it.

A WhatsApp group of seven Tottenham supporters has taken a formal position on the reported interest of Manchester United and Spurs in Dinamo Zagreb striker Dion Beljo, after a Spanish report was posted to it at 7.52am on a moving bus.

The position, which the chat's longest-serving member described as provisional but firm, was reached at 8.06am following a short debate conducted almost entirely in single words.

The report states that the 24-year-old has attracted interest from several European clubs, with both Premier League sides among those monitoring his progress. It adds that neither side has confirmed a formal bid, a line the chat read aloud twice, in the sense that two members typed "read it".

Right. Everyone's seen the link. I'm not saying anything until someone tells me what the fee is.

The fee was supplied at 8.09am by a different member, who noted that Dinamo Zagreb are reportedly seeking between €20m and €25m, having already rejected a €20m proposal last summer. The chat received this with a thumbs-up, a second thumbs-up, and a photograph of a sandwich.

Proceedings were briefly delayed by the observation that Real Betis, Newcastle United and AC Milan are also reportedly in the race, and by a member who wished it recorded that he had not been asked about Real Betis.

The motion to keep an eye on it was carried six votes to nil, with one member abstaining on the grounds that he was getting off at Seven Sisters.

The chat will reconvene once somebody has checked the contract, which the report says runs until 2030.

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Pavlidis And Mateta On Five-Striker January List, So Group Chat Convenes And Claims Front Seat

A football site has listed five strikers Tottenham could sign in January, among them Pavlidis of Benfica and Mateta of Crystal Palace, and a group chat of eleven supporters has considered the list on the top deck of a bus, in person, without dispute as to the seating.

A group chat of eleven Tottenham supporters met in extraordinary session on the top deck of a London bus on Sunday to consider a list of five January strikers, and reached a position on four of them.

The list, published by a football site, names Giménez, David, Pavlidis and Mateta, and describes a winter move for each as difficult. The chat accepted this as a fair summary of its own view of most things.

Proceedings opened at the front seat, which had been held since Manor House by a single coat. The chair noted for the record that the coat had arrived first and was therefore entitled to the view.

The first item concerned Giménez, who joined Porto on loan from Milan until 30 June 2027, with an option to buy that can become an obligation. A member asked what an obligation was. He was told it was a sort of option, and the item was carried.

The second item, David, is on a season-long loan at Atlético Madrid from Juventus and has made a strong start in Spain. The chat resolved to be pleased for him in principle.

On Pavlidis, the chair read aloud that he has 14 goals and four assists in 14 appearances for Benfica, repeating the figure a second time to the window.

Fourteen in fourteen. That's a goal a game. I've been saying get a goal a game since August.

Mateta's contract at Crystal Palace runs until June 2027, and an independent tribunal and FIFA have rejected his attempt to have the final year ruled invalid. The chat found this very legal and asked for a short recess, which was granted until the next stop.

A motion to discuss Dominic Solanke was ruled out of order on the grounds that he was not on the list. The chat then declined to proceed to a fifth name, citing the absence of a quorum after two members alighted at Seven Sisters.

The chat will reconvene when someone presses the bell.

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