A tiny man seen from behind kneels to straighten an enormous doormat outside a vast, empty stadium entrance.

TransfersThe High Road Herald

Father Of Two Lays Welcome Mat Outside Stadium For Alvarez After Reading Chances Are Limited

Barry Napier · Transfer Correspondent6 October · Reading time: one pint

Football Insider, as relayed by Spurs Web, says Tottenham have 'extremely limited' chances of signing Julian Alvarez from Atletico Madrid in January, against Spanish reports of a £113m offer.

A North London father of two has placed a doormat outside the stadium in anticipation of Julian Alvarez, following a report that Tottenham's chances of signing him are extremely limited.

The report, published by Spurs Web and attributed to Football Insider, states that Alvarez remains hopeful of a move to Barcelona and that Tottenham's lack of Champions League football is a major barrier. The man read it twice on Tuesday morning. He then went to the shed.

Limited isn't none. Limited means there's a bit. Somebody has to be there when the bit turns up.

Spanish reports have linked Tottenham with a £113m offer, which would include a release clause allowing the player a future move to Barcelona. The man has taken this as evidence that the club are flexible, and has added a similar clause to his own arrangement with the gym.

The mat, which is two feet by three, has been positioned beside the players' entrance on a day on which no players were expected. He has weighted the corners with four house bricks and a small plant.

Passers-by were asked whether they knew what the mat was for. Two said no. A third said it was probably about the striker situation, and kept walking.

The man has also drawn up a rota of one, beginning at nine and ending when the flask runs out, which he estimates at around half past eleven.

He has not yet been told that the same report describes the player as having turned down a summer move elsewhere. He says he would take that as encouraging.

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A giant suited figure seen from behind holds a speech bubble while eleven small laptops copy it identically in a night-time stadium.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

Eleven Websites Repeat Ledley King Remark On Luka Vuskovic And Add Nothing Whatsoever To It

Philippa Crane · Media Editor2 October · Reading time: one pint

The original remark, in which Mr King says he did not get many chances to watch the player, survives in only four of the eleven reports.

A single remark by Ledley King to Hayters TV on the subject of Luka Vuskovic was repeated by eleven separate websites over the course of one morning, with no outlet adding a new fact and every outlet adding a stronger verb.

The Herald has examined the original. Mr King said he had not had many chances to watch the player, that he had seen the reports, and that people were raving about him. He described him as an exciting young player who looks confident.

In the first report, Mr King 'thinks' the player will become a top player. By the third, he had 'backed' him. By the fifth he had 'tipped' him, and by the eighth he was understood to have 'issued a verdict'.

By the eleventh, the remark had become a 'message', although our correspondent could find nobody to whom it had been sent.

Each report contained the same three supporting facts: that the player had been named in the Bundesliga Team of the Season after a loan at Hamburg, that Brighton were said to be interested, and that Roberto De Zerbi would get to see him in pre-season. Each presented these in a different order, as though the order were the news.

A Tottenham man read all eleven in a supermarket car park on Monday, with the engine off and a phone propped against the dashboard. He had not yet gone in.

I thought the second one might have something in it, so I read the third. Then I had to check the others, didn't I.

It is understood that the man's conclusion, reached at around the ninth article, was that Mr King thought the player was good. This was also the conclusion available from the first.

He has not yet gone in.

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