A tiny fan in a white shirt relaxes in a giant deckchair outside an empty stadium, waiting for summer.

TransfersThe High Road Herald

Season Ticket Holder Pitches Deckchair Outside Stadium To Wait Until Summer For Pavlidis Talks, Citing CaughtOffside

Barry Napier · Transfer Correspondent10 October · Reading time: one pint

CaughtOffside reports that Tottenham are scouting Benfica forward Vangelis Pavlidis, who carries an £84m release clause, and that concrete talks cannot begin before the summer.

A season ticket holder has set up a deckchair on the forecourt of the stadium and announced that he will remain there until the summer, following a report that Tottenham Hotspur are plotting a swoop for Benfica centre-forward Vangelis Pavlidis.

The report, published by CaughtOffside, states that the 27-year-old is a target and that a new centre-forward is a top priority for the January window. It also states that Benfica are not open to a January departure and have placed an £84m release clause in his contract, meaning concrete talks must wait for the summer.

The man read the final part of that sentence first, and has acted on it.

It says summer. So I'm going to be here in the summer. Somebody has to be.

He arrived at roughly 9am on a day with no fixture, carrying the chair, a flask and a rolled blanket. The gates were shut and the forecourt was otherwise occupied by one pigeon, which has declined to comment.

The Herald understands the report also lists Aston Villa, Fulham, Barcelona, AC Milan and Juventus as rivals, and the man has addressed this by sitting a little closer to the turnstiles than he otherwise would. He accepts this will not be decisive.

The forward has been involved in 17 goal contributions in 13 games this season. Tottenham, meanwhile, travel to Old Trafford on Saturday still seeking a first win, a detail the man described as not his department and went back to his flask.

At press time he had calculated the wait at roughly eight months and had folded the blanket for the first of them.

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A tiny figure in a white shirt stands beside an enormous sunscreen bottle outside a stadium while drizzle falls from a small cloud.

Match ReportThe High Road Herald

Tottenham Man Applies Factor Thirty Outside Stadium In Drizzle As De Zerbi Takes Spurs To Marbella

Desmond Parry · Chief Football Correspondent10 October · Reading time: one pint

Tottenham will fly to Marbella for a training camp after Saturday's Premier League game at Manchester United, according to a senior football correspondent, with 25 degrees forecast there and rain in Enfield.

A Tottenham man has begun a training camp of his own outside the stadium, after learning that the squad will fly to Spain following Saturday's Premier League game at Manchester United.

The club's trip to Marbella, which the Herald understands is intended to help a new-look squad bond across the nine days before Monday's home game against newly promoted Coventry, was reported by a senior football correspondent on Saturday morning.

The man arrived at the forecourt shortly after nine in shorts, sandals and a sun hat, carrying a towel, a deckchair and a bottle of factor thirty. Rain was falling in Enfield, as forecast.

Twenty-five degrees there, rain here. If they are bonding in the sun, somebody has to bond in the rain. It's only fair.

Having read that the squad added ten players over the summer and has had little chance to gel, he has set himself the task of introducing himself to ten passers-by, one for each, and asking each to share something about themselves. Seven have declined.

He has also noted the correspondent's observation that such trips are unusual this early in a season, and has taken it as a sign that matters are serious, a position he reached before the first coffee.

A stadium employee, approached for comment, said the forecourt is open to the public and that the man is welcome to stay, provided he does not erect the parasol.

He has asked to be put down for Coventry on Monday.

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