A supporter smooths a giant crash mat outside a stadium while two small figures in white shirts stand on a high diving board above.

TransfersThe High Road Herald

Porro Would Jump To Barcelona Or Real Madrid Says Report, So Supporter Lays Crash Mat Outside Stadium

Barry Napier · Transfer Correspondent20 October · Reading time: one pint

Football Insider reports that Pedro Porro 'would jump' at a move to Barcelona or Real Madrid, and the mat in question measures 1.5 metres by one.

A Tottenham season ticket holder has laid a gymnastics mat on the forecourt of the stadium, on a day with no match, after Football Insider reported that Pedro Porro would jump at the chance to join Barcelona or Real Madrid.

The report describes Porro as Tottenham's best player and says both Spanish clubs have their eyes fixed firmly on the 27-year-old since Spain won the World Cup in the summer. The word jump appears in it once, in inverted commas.

The supporter read the passage at 7.40am and by nine o'clock had paced out the railings, which stand at roughly four feet.

It says jump. Somebody has got to be underneath.

The mat, 1.5 metres by one, was borrowed from a school hall on the understanding that it would be back by Thursday. It has since been returned twice and collected twice.

The report does not say which of the two clubs Porro prefers, and the supporter has declined to guess. The mat has therefore been laid midway, angled slightly towards Spain by means of a compass on his phone.

The same report notes that Spurs beat Coventry City on Tuesday, a point the supporter considers relevant to the landing, and he has added a second mat, a folded towel, and a flask.

A postman asked what it was for and was told to stand back.

The mat remains in place, and it has begun to rain.

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Kulusevski Recalls Ten Hours When No One Watches, So Supporter Spends Wednesday Deliberately Unobserved Outside Stadium

Dejan Kulusevski told AA Spor he worked ten hours every day when no one was watching during his 526 days out, and a Tottenham man has taken this as a timetable, adding that the forecourt has cameras.

A Tottenham man arrived at the stadium forecourt shortly after seven on Wednesday morning with a flask, a foam mat and the stated intention of being unobserved for ten hours.

The plan follows Dejan Kulusevski's interview with AA Spor, in which the Sweden midfielder described his 526-day absence and said he worked ten hours every day when no one was watching. Kulusevski returned as a substitute in the 3-1 win over Coventry City, replacing Mohammed Kudus in the 85th minute.

The man has read the interview three times, once on a phone, once on a printout, and once aloud to a bus shelter. He has concluded that the important word is unwatched.

He did it when nobody was looking, so I'm doing it where nobody's looking. That's the whole method.

The Herald can report that the forecourt is looked at by a steward, a man with a van, two pigeons and a camera on a pole. The man has addressed the camera problem by standing with his back to it, which he describes as the first hour done.

A club source, understood to be a woman locking a gate, confirmed that nothing is happening at the stadium today and that nobody has ever been watching it on a Wednesday. The man took this as encouragement and moved nearer the bins.

By mid-morning he had completed what he called a block of stretching, a second block of standing, and a third block described only as reflection. Kulusevski said the injury had made him smarter. The man says he is not there yet, but he is ahead of schedule.

He has been joined by a second supporter, who was asked to leave on the grounds that he was watching.

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