A giant ironing board with a pressed white shirt stands outside a stadium, with a tiny supporter seen from behind beside it.

TransfersThe High Road Herald

Kroupi Returns To Outdoor Training So Supporter Takes His Ironing Board Outside The Stadium In Solidarity

Barry Napier · Transfer Correspondent15 October · Reading time: one pint

Bournemouth Echo journalist Alexander Smith, relaying Marco Rose, says the Tottenham and Arsenal target Eli Junior Kroupi is back in outdoor training and could return within weeks, having reportedly been 24 hours from an £80m Spurs offer before breaking his foot.

A Tottenham man has taken his ironing board out of the spare room and set it up on the forecourt of the stadium, in what he described as the only appropriate response to the news from Dorset.

The update, relayed by the Bournemouth Echo's Alexander Smith from manager Marco Rose, states that Eli Junior Kroupi has returned to outdoor training following a broken foot, and could be available again within the next few weeks.

The Herald understands the man read the phrase twice over breakfast, set down his toast, and concluded that the matter had moved outside, and that he was therefore obliged to follow it.

If he's out in the open air, I'm not doing the shirts in the box room. It wouldn't be right.

The striker was reportedly close to the top of Tottenham's summer wishlist, and Spurs were said to be just 24 hours from an offer worth more than £80m before the injury. The man has applied the same timescale to his own affairs and says he will be fully pressed by Thursday.

Omar Marmoush, signed on an initial loan from Manchester City, is yet to score for Tottenham, a point the man raised unprompted while adjusting the board's one short leg with a folded flyer.

Fichajes reports that Arsenal and Barcelona are also interested and that Bournemouth could demand around €100m. The report is unconfirmed. The man has nonetheless placed a second shirt on the board, in case of competition.

At time of going to press he had ironed four items, none of them his own, and was monitoring the situation from a flask.

The board remains upright.

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A tiny anonymous footballer in a white shirt stands at the base of a giant spiral staircase while a ring of rounded, blank-faced shapes leans in to look.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

Mudryk Spotted At Chelsea During Injury Layoff, So Group Chat Convenes And Asks About The Stairs

Philippa Crane · Media Editor15 October · Reading time: one pint

The Evening Standard reports that Tottenham loanee Mykhailo Mudryk watched Shakhtar beat AEK Athens 3-1 in the Champions League at Stamford Bridge on Wednesday, and the chat has seven members.

A Tottenham group chat of seven members met on the upper deck of a northbound bus on Thursday morning to establish a formal position on the news that Mykhailo Mudryk was seen at Stamford Bridge.

The Evening Standard reported that the Tottenham loanee attended Shakhtar Donetsk's 3-1 Champions League win over AEK Athens on Wednesday night, one of 29,144 people in the ground. Andriy Shevchenko was also present.

The chat, which has monitored the Mudryk ankle since the start of September, called the item to order at Manor House. The chairman, who created the group in 2021 and has never relinquished the role, read the report aloud from his phone.

If he can get into Stamford Bridge he can get up these stairs. I'm only saying what I'm seeing.

The Herald understands the remark was received in silence, partly out of respect and partly because the bus was pulling away from a stop and nobody wished to test the point.

It was noted for the record that Mudryk has been out since the beginning of September with an ankle ligament injury suffered in training, days after his debut off the bench at Nottingham Forest. He will be ineligible to face Chelsea next Saturday even if fit.

A motion that the sighting was a sign was amended to a development, then to a thing, and was withdrawn at Stamford Hill after a member pointed out that he had once been seen at a bus stop himself.

The chat resolved to revisit the matter on Monday. The bus reached Tottenham Hale before the minutes could be approved.

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