A tiny footballer seen from behind stands on a night pitch facing a stadium tunnel that is fitted with enormous ear defenders.

TransfersThe High Road Herald

Man Fits Ear Defenders Outside Stadium As Report Says Spurs Will Not Hear Mathys Tel Offers

Barry Napier · Transfer Correspondent12 October · Reading time: one pint

Football Insider says Tottenham have no intention of listening to January offers for Mathys Tel, who scored five goals in four games for France Under-21s, though neither point is on the record from the club.

A Tottenham man arrived at the stadium forecourt shortly after ten on Monday morning wearing industrial ear defenders, having read that the club will not be listening to offers for Mathys Tel.

The report, from Football Insider and relayed by Spurs Web on Sunday, says Tottenham have no intention of listening to January bids for the forward and that Roberto De Zerbi has told the club he wants him to stay. The Herald notes that neither point is presented as an on-record statement from the manager or the club.

The man was undeterred. "If they are not listening, somebody ought to show solidarity," he said, adjusting the headband.

I'm not hearing offers either. Nobody has made one, but I'm not hearing it.

Tel scored five goals in four games for France Under-21s during the international break, including a hat-trick in the 7-1 win over Switzerland on Tuesday 6 October, taking him to 17 for the side, level with Odsonne Edouard. The goals came for France, not Spurs. The man was aware of this and said he had "factored it in".

The Herald understands the story reached him by way of Foot Mercato, then Sport Witness, then Spurs Web, then a Football Insider update, and that he has taken the most recent link in the chain as the binding one.

Passers-by were invited to make an offer to test the arrangement. Four did. A cyclist, a postman and two schoolchildren shouted figures at him from the pavement, and he reports that he heard none of them, though the postman's was "quite loud".

At 11:40am he removed one cup to ask a steward what time the megastore opened.

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A tiny supporter in a white shirt, seen from behind, steps onto a garage forecourt beside a giant petrol pump, with three white shirts hanging on a line nearby.

Injury LatestThe High Road Herald

Supporter Begins Phased Return To Forecourt As Spurs Injury Update Lists Porro, Simons, Kulusevski Dates

Clive Ottaway · Injury Correspondent12 October · Reading time: one pint

The Evening Standard's weekly briefing sets out likely return dates for Pedro Porro, Xavi Simons and Dejan Kulusevski, and the supporter has been on the forecourt since ten.

A Tottenham supporter has begun a phased return to the forecourt of the stadium, following the publication of the Evening Standard's weekly injury briefing, which lists likely comeback dates for several first-team players.

The Herald understands he read the piece in full at 9.40am, reached the line on Pedro Porro's hamstring, and put on a tracksuit. Porro was originally set to miss four weeks and could return against Coventry or Chelsea later this month.

I'm not rushing it. Stage one is walking to the gate. Stage two is standing at the gate. Stage three is touching the gate.

By noon he had completed stage one and was monitoring stage two with the assistance of a flask. Our correspondent observed him pause, flex a calf, and look at the turnstile with what can only be described as caution.

He has also entered himself for the Xavi Simons timetable, which is likely after the turn of the year, and has told his household not to expect him before then. He has been advised that his household is across the road and that dinner is at six.

The Kulusevski programme, understood to run to more than 500 days, has been shortened at his own request to a long weekend. A small group of passers-by watched him play a full ninety seconds against a bollard of Under-21 standard.

At 3pm he declared himself available for selection and went home for tea.

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