A small footballer seen from behind celebrates in front of a giant dartboard with a banknote stuck in its bullseye.

TransfersThe High Road Herald

Darts Team Chat Notes Alvarez Price Has Fallen And Lowers Its Own Bid By A Fiver

Barry Napier · Transfer Correspondent14 October · Reading time: one pint

Spurs Web reports that Sport says Julian Alvarez's value is 'declining alarmingly' after no goals this season, with no one considering fees above €120m (£101m), and the group chat meets on the 73 bus.

A WhatsApp group of eleven Tottenham supporters, convened around a Thursday darts team, has formally noted that Julian Alvarez is now cheaper than he was at the start of the month.

The chat, which meets in session on the top deck of the 73 between Stoke Newington and the Seven Sisters Road, took the view that the reported fall in value was "material" and "on the record". It then took a further four minutes to find the record.

The Herald understands the development stems from a report in Sport, relayed by Spurs Web, which says the Atletico Madrid striker's value is declining alarmingly and that no one is considering figures above €120m (£101m). The chat has been reminded that the figure was previously higher. It has not been reminded by whom.

Right, so if he's gone down, we go down. Fair's fair. Fourteen pounds fifty, tops.

The chat's treasurer, who holds the darts kitty in a biscuit tin and has not been asked to hold it, confirmed the offer had been lowered by five pounds from the figure agreed on the previous Tuesday. A seconder was recorded. A second seconder was recorded after the first went to buy a pasty.

A minority view held that the player's preference for Barcelona, as reported, should be minuted as a complicating factor. The motion was carried on a show of thumbs. Two members abstained on the grounds that they were looking at a different bus.

The chat also noted, without comment, that the absence of Champions League football had been raised in recent weeks. It was then asked to move on, as the stop was Manor House.

The tin remains with the treasurer, who has said he will keep it on his lap.

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A small anonymous footballer seen from behind stands beneath a giant clock with a fifteen-minute wedge, while four magnifying glasses hover over it.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

Spurs 15-Minute Window Is Reported By Four Sites, Each Calling It Bigger, And Stays Fifteen Minutes

Philippa Crane · Media Editor14 October · Reading time: one pint

Spurs Web reported that analyst Enya Collins found Tottenham are outplayed only between the 61st and 75th minutes, a spell in which they have conceded four Premier League goals in six games.

A 15-minute spell in which Tottenham are outplayed was repeated by four further websites before breakfast was cleared, a Herald audit has found.

The original item, published by Spurs Web, reported that analyst Enya Collins had compared non-penalty xG across 15-minute blocks and found Spurs trail their opponents only between the 61st and 75th minutes. In that period they have conceded four goals in six league games.

Site one called it a window. Site two called it a dangerous spell. Site three called it a collapse period, and site four called it the quarter of an hour that is killing Spurs. The Herald has measured all four and can confirm each is still fifteen minutes long.

Fifteen minutes. Every week. Same fifteen minutes.

The remark was made over a bowl of cereal by a North London father of two, who had by then read the story on his phone, his daughter's tablet and the back of a cereal box he later admitted was not about football.

The Herald examined each version for new information and found none. All four carried the same six results, the same Newcastle goals, the same Aston Villa goal in the 67th minute and the same Manchester United goal in the 73rd. The fourth added a link to an unrelated article about Marbella.

All four also reproduced Ms Collins's finding that Spurs create 59 per cent of their non-penalty xG after the break, against a league average of 56 per cent. In every case it appeared in the third paragraph, where it is least likely to be read.

It is understood the window remains fifteen minutes in length.

The kettle was boiled again at a quarter past eight.

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