Tim Sherwood Questions Spurs Signings In Four Outlets Before Eight, Adding Not One Fact
Philippa Crane · Media Editor · Reading time: one pint
Sky Sports reports that Tim Sherwood has questioned Tottenham Hotspur's new signings, and the Herald has since found the same sentence on four further pages, each one slightly firmer than the last.
A Tottenham man seated at his kitchen table at 7.40am has confirmed that Tim Sherwood's questioning of the club's new signings reached him from five separate outlets before the toast was ready, and that the fifth contained exactly the information of the first.
The original report, published by Sky Sports, states that Sherwood questions Tottenham Hotspur's new signings. The Herald has read it twice and can confirm that it says so.
The second website, reached at 7.52am, reported that Sherwood had doubts. The third, at 8.05am, reported concerns. By the fourth, which arrived on the man's phone while he was buttering, the questions had become a warning, though to whom was not stated.
Four sites now, and not one of them says what he actually questioned. I've read them all. Twice. Some of them three times.
The Herald compared the four versions line by line. Each opens with the headline, restates the headline in its second paragraph, and closes by inviting the reader to say whether they agree. The running total of new facts added since the original stands at nil.
A second person at the table, who had read none of them, was given a short summary and described it as accurate, adding that it was also what she had assumed.
Press historians note that the story has now been understood, monitored and reflected upon without anyone having established what is being understood, monitored or reflected upon.
The man has opened a fifth tab.
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