A huge stadium pillar with a tiny supporter holding a pint hiding behind it while a bowed figure in a dark sweater stands nearby in an empty evening stadium.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

TEAMtalk Says Board Is Fully Behind De Zerbi And Season Ticket Holder Takes Position Behind Pillar

Philippa Crane · Media Editor12 October · Reading time: one pint

TEAMtalk claims, via internal sources at Hotspur Way, that the Tottenham board are fully behind Roberto De Zerbi despite a winless start of six games, a story Spurs Web repeated on Monday. The pillar in question stands beside Gate C and has not previously been consulted.

A Tottenham season ticket holder has taken up a position directly behind a concrete pillar outside the stadium, after reading that the club's board are fully behind Roberto De Zerbi.

The report originated with TEAMtalk, which cited internal sources at Hotspur Way, and was relayed on Monday by Spurs Web under a headline that confirmed the board's feelings in the present tense. The Herald understands the relevant sentence appears in the piece four separate times, in four separate arrangements.

The man arrived at 8:40am on a day with no fixture, no tours and a single contractor on a stepladder. He selected the pillar beside Gate C, assessed its width, and moved to a point approximately one pace behind it.

They said fully behind. I'm not going to be half behind. Somebody has to be properly behind.

The report adds that the club are relaxed about De Zerbi's own commitment, and that there has been no consideration at all of a change. The man said he had read this paragraph twice and found it reassuring, and that this was exactly why he could not afford to be seen standing at the side.

Background was supplied by the fixture list. Spurs are winless in six, the most recent being a 1-1 draw at Old Trafford on Saturday, and Tottenham chief executive Vinai Venkatesham is reported to have expressed confidence in the head coach at a meeting with the Fan Advisory Board a fortnight ago. The man said he had been aware of all that and had simply been waiting for somebody to move first.

A passing resident asked whether the pillar was likely to go anywhere. The man said he had been wondering the same thing and would be staying until it was confirmed.

At midday he moved his weight onto the other foot.

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A tiny footballer dribbles a ball past a house-sized slice of toast while small figures scramble around it on a sunny pitch.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

Kofane Rivals Claim Passes Four Websites By Toast, Growing From Stiff To Fierce Scramble

Philippa Crane · Media Editor12 October · Reading time: one pint

Journalist Pete O'Rourke claimed Tottenham face Aston Villa, Everton, Newcastle United and Chelsea for Leverkusen's Christian Kofane, whose contract runs until the summer of 2029.

A North London householder encountered the same Christian Kofane claim four times between the kettle and the second slice of toast, and found on each occasion that it had not changed in substance.

The original report, by journalist Pete O'Rourke, stated that Tottenham Hotspur face stiff competition for the Bayer 04 Leverkusen striker from Aston Villa, Everton, Newcastle United and Chelsea.

By the second website, stiff had become serious. By the third, the four clubs were described as a queue. By the fourth, Tottenham were said to be in a five-club battle, a figure reached by adding Tottenham to the list of clubs already described as competing with Tottenham.

It said stiff the first time. Now it's a scramble. Nobody has rung anybody.

The Herald has examined all four versions side by side. Each contains the player's age, his three goals in six matches, his contract until 2029 and his height of 1.89m. No new information appears in any of them, though one uses the word gifted twice and another has found a third reason to describe him as a sensation.

It is understood the householder's source for the third article was the second article, and that his source for the fourth was a push notification about the third.

At the time of going to press the claim had reached the hall, where it was being read for a fifth time on a phone, and had become a bidding war.

The toast went cold.

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