A tiny footballer seen from behind stares up at an enormous cracked slice of toast in a blurred stadium.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

Endrick Update Grows From Standing Firm To Significant Blow During One Round Of Toast

Philippa Crane · Media Editor6 October · Reading time: one pint

TEAMtalk reports that Real Madrid intend to keep Endrick and will entertain only a straight loan in January, a position Spurs Web then described as a significant blow, and the reader's toast went cold in between.

A Tottenham father of two read the same piece of Endrick news three times over a single bowl of cereal on Wednesday morning, and reports that it felt slightly worse on each occasion.

The original report, from TEAMtalk, is that Real Madrid have told the 20-year-old striker they intend to keep him, and will listen to proposals for a straight loan in January, without an option or obligation to buy. The Herald has read it. It is, in effect, one sentence.

By the time it reached the table via Spurs Web, the position had become a "significant blow" to Tottenham and Arsenal. The phrase appears in the headline and again in the body, in inverted commas, as though somebody had said it aloud.

It said Madrid were standing firm, and then it said it again, but sadder.

Our correspondent laid the two versions side by side next to the butter and compared them line by line. No new information was added between the first and the second. Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Aston Villa and Fulham had asked about him in both. The only change was in the verbs.

The Herald understands the same facts were then offered to him a third time, in a different order, by a feed that had no further information either.

The piece does note that it cannot say whether a dry loan interests De Zerbi's side. The man read that sentence twice and described it as the only part of the understood material to admit what was missing.

He then read it a fourth time, in case it had changed.

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A tiny faceless supporter in white and navy holds a giant ring of keys, trying them on a long row of identical stadium gates at dusk.

Match ReportThe High Road Herald

Supporter Who Took Find A Way Literally Has Spent Tuesday Trying Every Gate Outside Stadium

Desmond Parry · Chief Football Correspondent6 October · Reading time: one pint

The stadium has no fixture this week and was closed throughout, a fact the man describes as noted.

A Tottenham man spent Tuesday walking the perimeter of the stadium and trying each gate in turn, after reading that a club legend had said the players must find a way.

The Herald understands the remark was made to Football.London and concerned the team's form. The man has acknowledged this context and described it as "secondary".

By early afternoon he had tried the main entrance, the club shop door and a turnstile that was closed for the day. He tried the turnstile twice, on the grounds that the first attempt had been tentative.

He said there's no choice. Somebody has to find a way. I'm just the one who's here.

A steward informed him that there was no match, that the stadium was shut, and that nothing would be happening inside it until the weekend at the earliest. The man thanked the steward, took notes, and tried the gate again.

The same interview refers to a first positive result, which the man has taken to be something that can be located. He has brought a flask and a clipboard, and has completed three full laps of the ground, the second in the opposite direction after he became unsure about the first.

I'm not saying the result is in there. I'm saying nobody has checked.

The interview also describes the passing range of Jan Paul van Hecke as excellent. The man has written this down and underlined it, though he has not yet established where it fits.

At press time he was approaching the south side for the fourth time.

He has brought sandwiches.

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