Spurs 1.56 xG At Old Trafford Is Uninspiring, So Supporter Passes Ball Ten Times Between Bollards
Desmond Parry · Chief Football Correspondent · Reading time: one pint
An analysis of the 1-1 draw at Old Trafford, where Spurs equalised in stoppage time, concludes they have the ball a great deal and no idea what to do with it, and the forecourt has ten bollards.
A Tottenham man spent Saturday afternoon and much of Sunday on the forecourt of the stadium, passing a football between ten bollards, after reading an analysis that concluded Spurs have no idea how to score goals.
The analysis, published after the 1-1 draw at Old Trafford, notes that Tottenham equalised in stoppage time but recorded 1.56 expected goals, which it describes as uninspiring and not the highest tally of the season.
It adds that Spurs have the third-fewest xG in the Premier League and the lowest xG per shot, while only three clubs have more of the ball and only Manchester City have strung together more sequences of ten passes or more.
The man read the final point twice and went out to the forecourt with a size five ball and a flask.
They've got the ball loads and nowhere to put it. I'm just showing the lads what that looks like from the outside.
He completed his first full sequence of ten passes at 11:20am, taking in nine bollards and a recycling bin, and has since repeated it, he estimates, about forty times, each ending with the ball returning to him and nothing in front of it.
The analysis also records that Jan Paul van Hecke and Savio lead the league in progressive carries per 90 minutes, and that the top four for successful dribbles are all Spurs. The man has accordingly dribbled round the bins, the lamp post and a parked scooter, then stopped, as there was nothing beyond the scooter.
At time of going to press he was on his forty-first sequence.
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