Season Ticket Holder Develops Elaborate Theory Involving The Fixture Computer
Follow us on FacebookThe theory has survived contact with a spreadsheet and two of his friends have quietly begun to believe it.
A North London man has spent the week assembling a theory of such internal consistency that two of his friends have quietly begun to believe it.
The theory, which concerns the scheduling of away fixtures immediately following international breaks, has reportedly survived contact with a spreadsheet and one fairly hostile conversation in a pub.
Interrupting this report
The Monday Post-Mortem
The match report, in your inbox the morning after every game.
Free. One email per fixture. Unsubscribe whenever you like.
It's not a conspiracy. It's a pattern. There's a difference.
Asked to explain the difference, the man produced a second document.
The Herald can confirm the spreadsheet contains eleven seasons of data, a column headed "SUSPICIOUS?" and conditional formatting. Three cells are red. He is unable to say what the red indicates, only that it is "obvious when you look at the whole thing".
At time of writing he had moved on to a second theory concerning the kit manufacturer, which this newspaper has elected not to publish.