A tiny anonymous footballer in white sprints along a huge unspooling tape measure while five megaphones each stretch the distance further.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

Tonali Distance Figure Is Repeated By Five Outlets And By Third It Is Superhuman Stamina

Philippa Crane · Media Editor12 October · Reading time: one pint

Spurs Web reported, citing FotMob, that Sandro Tonali leads Tottenham for distance covered at 11.3 km per 90 minutes, and the figure has since been published five times without changing.

A statistic published on Monday morning, that Sandro Tonali covers 11.3 km per 90 minutes for Tottenham, had reached a North London kitchen table in five separate outlets by 8.31am. The Herald has examined each of them.

The original appeared on Spurs Web, which cited FotMob and noted that Tonali has played in every game. It added that Rodrigo Bentancur is second on 11.2 km and Archie Gray third on 11.1 km, and that the figures alone "do not provide a complete measure of work rate".

The second outlet kept the number and dropped the caveat. The third kept the number, dropped Bentancur and Gray, and described Tonali's running as superhuman stamina.

By the fourth, 11.3 km had become "more ground than any other player in the squad", which is accurate, and "more ground than the squad has gained in the league", which is a separate claim that the writer appears to have enjoyed. Tottenham are without a win in their opening six Premier League matches.

The fifth outlet led with Andy Robertson, who makes 16.2 sprints per 90 minutes, and gave Archie Gray 16.0 and Savio 15.5. It then restored the Tonali figure to the standfirst, where it had begun.

The Herald can confirm that no outlet added a single kilometre, sprint or player to the original. Several added the word relentless.

It's the same eleven point three. They've just given it a longer run-up.

He said this while buttering toast, then asked whether the Robertson figure was per game or per 90, and was told it was per 90, as it had been in all five.

He has since read the piece a sixth time, on a different phone.

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An illustrated double-decker bus at night with a lone footballer in white seen from behind on the top deck, beneath an oversized stop button, while silhouetted passengers huddle behind him.

LettersThe High Road Herald

Upstairs Group Chat Rules Solanke Must Repay Tottenham Faith Before The Bus Reaches Seven Sisters

Edith Marlowe · Letters Editor12 October · Reading time: one pint

The Evening Standard says Dominic Solanke must repay Tottenham's faith or risk being left behind after his stoppage-time equaliser in the 1-1 draw at Manchester United, and a four-person group chat has now ruled on it from the top deck of a bus.

A group chat of four Tottenham supporters has reached a formal position on Dominic Solanke, the Evening Standard having advised that he must repay the club's faith or risk being left behind.

The position was adopted on the top deck of a bus travelling north, at approximately 8:12am, after a motion was proposed by the member who has had the phone out since Tottenham Court Road.

The chair, who sits in the front left seat by long custom, opened proceedings by reading the column aloud, including the part about Solanke having captained the side at Old Trafford and scored a stoppage-time equaliser in a 1-1 draw. It was noted that the faith in question had been shown by the manager, on a Sunday, and that no receipt had been issued.

I am not saying he has to score every week. I am saying he has to score in two games running, and I would like that minuted.

The motion was seconded by a member who has felt this way since August, and who asked that the record show it. A fourth member abstained on the grounds that he was still looking for his Oyster card.

Discussion turned to the phrase left behind. It was agreed that nobody present could say what Solanke was being left behind by, though one member suggested a bus, and the chair ruled that this was not helpful at this time.

The resolution, carried three to nil, states that Solanke is to repay the faith in full by the home game with Coventry on Monday. A further clause was added at Seven Sisters, extending the deadline by one fixture, and a fifth clause at Tottenham Hale was withdrawn.

The chair then closed the meeting and asked who had the stop bell.

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