A worried-looking kitchen table with four identical envelopes stacked on it, in front of a draped backdrop, with an anonymous cropped figure in a white shirt at the edge.

Paper TalkThe High Road Herald

Kitchen Table Receives Tottenham Profit Warning From Four Outlets And Is Asked To Brace Itself

Philippa Crane · Media Editor10 October · Reading time: one pint

Tottenham's board has issued a profit warning, with Vinai Venkatesham citing rising costs and two 17th-place finishes, and the same facts have since appeared in four places.

A Tottenham household was this morning in receipt of the club's profit warning from four separate sources, each of which reported the same facts and each of which found them slightly more serious than the last.

The first outlet, read at 7:10am, described the position as a warning. It said costs were rising because of investment in the men's team, that back-to-back 17th-place finishes and no European football had hit revenue, and that Vinai Venkatesham had set this out at the Fan Advisory Board. It was calm and gave the figures.

The second, at 7:35am, called it a financial warning and moved the Fan Advisory Board to the third paragraph. The squad-cost limits remained in place, at 85% of revenue in the Premier League and 70% under UEFA's rules, although the second site felt they were tightening.

By the third outlet, at 8:00am, the matter had become alarm. It was understood that the board was monitoring the situation. The Herald was unable to establish who was understood to be understanding it, or what the board was monitoring, other than the situation.

It said concern on the first one. Now it's a crisis. Nothing's happened in between, I've been sat here the whole time.

The fourth outlet, a podcast transcript, described the club as being in full financial meltdown and quoted no one. It contained every sentence from the first outlet, in a different order, followed by a sentence reading "and that is a big problem." Commercial income, including concerts and other stadium events, was mentioned once, near the end, with a question mark.

A Herald audit found that no fact appeared in the fourth outlet that was absent from the first, and that the household had paid for none of them. The toast went cold at the third.

The man has since read the first one again.

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A tiny figure in dark clothing stands with folded arms beside a giant empty cardboard box in front of a stadium gate at night.

Match ReportThe High Road Herald

Supporter Leaves Empty Cardboard Box At Stadium Gate After Shearer Warns De Zerbi Over Two Goals

Desmond Parry · Chief Football Correspondent9 October · Reading time: one pint

Alan Shearer told Betfair that Roberto De Zerbi could lose his job if Tottenham are beaten by two or more goals at Manchester United, and the box was in place by Friday lunchtime.

A Tottenham man has placed an empty cardboard box outside the stadium gates in preparation for the possible dismissal of Roberto De Zerbi, following remarks by Alan Shearer ahead of Sunday's trip to Old Trafford.

Shearer, speaking to Betfair, said the Tottenham manager "can't afford to play Man United and be beaten 2 or 3-0". Spurs are bottom of the Premier League, without a win, and have scored twice in five league matches after spending more than £300m in the summer.

The Herald understands the supporter read the word beaten at 7:40am and the word job at 7:41am, and had located the box in the loft by 8:15am. He has described the margin as two goals, not one, and says this is the part people keep missing.

He's said two. Nobody says two by accident. I'm just being ready.

Our correspondent noted that Shearer also tipped a 2-2 draw, a fact the supporter acknowledged and has placed in a separate pile alongside the Tottenham calendar and a tin of travel sweets.

The box is of medium size and was previously used to deliver a kettle. Beside it the supporter has laid out a single desk plant, one framed photograph of a training ground, and a lanyard of his own, which he says he may not need.

The stadium was closed on Friday, and no member of staff has asked about the box. A steward passing the forecourt at 2pm confirmed only that it was "in the way of the bins".

The supporter intends to remain until the final whistle on Sunday, and has brought a second flask.

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