Mikey Moore Koln Derby Dribbles Repeated By Several Websites And Each Paragraph Twice, Adding Nothing New
Philippa Crane · Media Editor · Reading time: one pint
Mikey Moore started as attacking midfielder for Koln in their 2-1 derby win over Borussia Monchengladbach, completing five dribbles, according to a report in which every paragraph appeared a second time directly beneath itself.
A Tottenham man sat down at his kitchen table this morning and read that Mikey Moore, on loan at FC Koln, had started as attacking midfielder in a 2-1 derby win over Borussia Monchengladbach.
He then read it again. The report, he discovered, contained each of its paragraphs twice, one directly after the other, a layout he had previously encountered only on the back of a school hymn sheet.
The Herald has audited the material. Moore did not score or assist. He completed five dribbles and drew three fouls, both his best figures of the Bundesliga season so far. That is the news, and it was repeated in full on every paragraph, in every copy.
It says he's showing growth. Then it says it again. That's twice the growth.
By the second website the dribbles had become growth. By the third, Moore was understood to elevate his game on the biggest occasions. The dribble count remained at five throughout, and no outlet was found to have added a sixth.
It is understood that the Bundesliga is easier to do this in than the Premier League. The household was informed of this twice before the kettle boiled, and a third time by the toaster, which says nothing but was felt to agree.
The man also learned that Tottenham will want to see this continue, a position he describes as sensible, and one he has now held for four consecutive paragraphs.
He finished his tea and turned to the second copy of the fourth paragraph.
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