Householder Reads Monchi Sleep Remark On Roberto Fernandez Three Times And Is Kept Awake By It

A North London householder has read the same remark by Espanyol's director of football three times before eight o'clock and is understood to be no better informed than he was at the first reading.

Monchi told Sport that the club is not losing sleep over the possibility that Tottenham, among others, might pay Roberto Fernandez's €30m release clause. The Herald can confirm that this is the whole of the story.

The Herald has traced the remark through its subsequent journey. The first outlet reported it. The second outlet reported that the first outlet had reported it. The third added a photograph of the striker and the word monitoring.

By the fourth version, the director's remark had been described as relaxed, then unbothered, and finally, at a site the householder declines to name, as a message to Tottenham. The only new figure to appear along the way was £25.4m, which is €30m with the currency changed.

It says he's not losing sleep, so I've been lying awake working out what that means for January.

A second member of the household, who was buttering toast, said she had seen the same paragraph on her own phone at 6:40am and again on the bus, where it was developing.

The Herald notes that Chelsea and Brighton were also mentioned in each version, in the same order, and that the 3-1 win over Czechia and the six goals in seven matches were restated on every occasion, none of them any larger.

The householder has since put the phone face down beside the marmalade and has begun reading the jar.