Group Chat Reconciles Kulusevski 526 Days With Maddison 536 And Rounds Both To Five Hundred
Desmond Parry · Chief Football Correspondent · Reading time: one pint
Spurs beat Coventry 3-1 at home on Monday night, with James Maddison scoring the opener and Dejan Kulusevski returning after 526 days, according to the Evening Standard, and the chat was quorate by Highbury Corner.
A Tottenham group chat convened a formal session on the top deck of a London bus on Monday night, shortly after Spurs beat Coventry 3-1 and recorded a first Premier League win of the season at the seventh time of asking.
The chat, which has met irregularly since August and has never once been quorate, was called to order at 9.42pm by a member who typed the word right and then, after a pause, a full stop.
The first item was the matter of days. The Evening Standard reported that Dejan Kulusevski had returned after 526 days, and that James Maddison had made a first start in 536 days. Members noted that both men were hurt in May 2025, and asked, reasonably, why the numbers were not the same.
They were injured on the same day. Ten days is a lot of days to just lose.
A second member proposed that the discrepancy was a matter of starting, as opposed to appearing, and that the chat had no standing to rule on it. The motion fell. A third member began a count on his fingers, ran out at a junction, and was asked to resume from the stairs.
At 9.51pm the chat resolved, by seven thumbs-up and one thumbs-down that was later withdrawn, to round both figures to five hundred and to describe the matter in the minutes as a long time. Ben Davies's stoppage-time goal was then noted, the verdict on whether it was a shot or a scuff being deferred to the next sitting.
The chat adjourned at Stamford Hill. One member asked whether the minutes could be amended to say eleven.
They could not.
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